Lies Can Easily Be The Truth

Many people are shocked and amazed when they find out that the juries are susceptible to lies of unscrupulous experts or witnesses.  They often state with incredulity that the truth should come out in trial.  Unfortunately, however, the truth doesn’t always come out.  Recently, a study from Australia helped to give a better understanding why people — as voters in an election or voters on a jury — are susceptible to lies.  The simple truth:  Inherent Laziness.

“A study led by Stephan Lewandowsky of the University of Western Australia explains part of what may happen. The researchers found that ‘Weighing the plausibility and the source of a message is cognitively more difficult than simply accepting that the message is true — it requires additional motivational and cognitiveresources.’

If the subject isn’t very important to you or you have other things on your mind, misinformation is more likely to take hold, according to the researchers. They point out that rejecting false information requires more cognitive effort than just taking it in. That is, weighing how plausible a message is, or assessing the reliability of its source, is more difficult, cognitively, than simply accepting that the message is true. In short, it takes more mental work. And if the topic isn’t very important to you or you have other things on your mind, the misinformation is more likely to take hold.”  (Pyschology Today, Why You’re Likely to Believe Political Lies )

When a person does take the time and effort to question the lie, they only take limited mental resources to do so.  They ask questions such as does this fit within my understanding of the world?  Do others believe it?  Is the source reliable?  So in essence, they filter the information even when they are questioning it.  As such, in order for the truth to come out, it must first overcome the mental laziness, and then must find its way through limited mental filters.

The problem with that filtration system is that only information that is consistent with your own beliefs will come through.  So on many occassions, the filter creates a self fulfilling prophecy that the false information will be believed.  In other words a lie is given, filtered, and then believed, which then reinforces your position or belief about issues related to the lie.

Moreover, when someone tries to demonstrate factually that the developed viewpoint is wrong, the entrenched parties often become even further entrenched citing the inaccuracy of the data.  For example, “The GOP had emphasized their conviction that unemployment would remain above 8 percent — and benefit Romney’s campaign. However, following the report that unemployment dropped to 7.8 percent during September, several Republican spokesmen immediately claimed that the figures had been falsified. And despite factual corroboration that the numbers were accurately determined, some doubled-down on their allegation that a conspiracy to cook the numbers must have occurred. ” (pyschology today)

The consequences of this misinformation are dramatic for mediation and litigation.  First, this demonstrates why people might believe the statements of experts.  At first, the information seems to be plausible; second, it fits into the system of beliefs that the juror believes, and thus becomes even more plausible.  Finally, in order for a person to really break down the lie, that juror must really care.  Many jurors do care; but certainly others can’t be bothered.  They don’t care enough to break down the intricate lie.  Thus they decide to accept it.  At least this way, they can go home earlier.

Second, in mediation the problem persists with the parties.  Many times, regardless of what facts you might present to one side or the other, they simply won’t believe the facts.  Instead,  you must work to change their view within their belief system.  In other words, you must find something that they believe and apply it to convince them that the position that they have taken is contrary to their beliefs.   In order to do this you must understand the specific advocacy position as it relates to the negotiation, and then look to their interests and beliefs.

Posted in belief, beliefs, expert, jury, lies, Mediation, negotiation, parties, party, persuasion, preconcieved, Pyschological Research and negotiations, research, Stephan Lewandowsky, truth, witness | Comments Off

One Bad Act Can Cost You Way More In the Long Run

So you have had one bad interaction with opposing counsel or the opposing party.  You would like to make it right.  So one good interaction should make it all better, right?  Wrong.  The reality is that one good interaction does not make up for one bad.  I know this to be true from every time I have a fight with my wife.  One good incident after the fight doesn’t make up for it.  The reality is several good interactions are necessary to make it all right again.

Well interestingly enough some research demonstrates that my anecodotal experience is not necessarily far from the truth.

Psychologist Barbara Frederickson is an expert on flourishing and has been an advocate of finding ways to bring more positive emotions into our lives. In her research she discovered a critical 3 to 1 ratio, indicating that we need to have three positive emotions for every negative one in order to thrive. (via Barking Up the Wrong Tree).  

Another researcher,  Ed Diener, in his book Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, also demonstrated that the number of good interactions to offset a bad interaction depends on the relationship.  His conclusions are set forth in the attached chart.

So what does that mean to negotiations, mediation, and the general world.  A lot:  Your hist0ry can affect your future, and it takes a lot more effort to repair something than it does to break it.  As negotiators, it is far better to try to maintain good relations, because if you don’t it is much harder to come back from a bad impression — especially because your relationship is not as close as some of the relationship in the chart.  Imagine where you as negotiating partners or opposing counsel fall in relation to the closeness of the connection and how many good interactions are necessary to offset one bad one.  I would hope that you can beat the odds of a mother-in-law.  But either way, you are not as close to your opposing counsel as you are to your children or parents.  As such, it will take a lot of good interactions to offset one bad interaction.

The Moral: Do Unto Others Better Than You would Do to Yourself in Negotiations or Pay the Price.

Posted in bad, frederickson, good, interaction, liking, make up, Mediation, negotiation, offset, Pyschological Research and negotiations | Comments Off

I know Nostradamus, and You My Friend Are No Nostradamus

In every mediation, there is always some party that predicts the future. Phrases such as “There is no way that we can lose this case,” “most likely we will win,” or “the judge will never rule that way,” are frequently mentioned. The reality, however, is that people are generally very bad at telling the future The reason for this ineptitude is for several reasons.

First, according to a study in the journal of Social Pyschology, we are 30% more accurate at predicting performance for a third party than we are at predicting our own future performance. According to the research, we base predictions about others on hard facts, but brush aside our own failures or shortcomings as aberrations.

Second, Yale psychologists have discovered that when we are in the middle of a “game” we are less likely to predict the performance of the game than when we are hypothetically playing the game. In other words, if we are in the midst of a problem or activity, our impartiality is less than if we were hypothetically thinking about that same activity.

Third, Casino operators count on the next bias which is often called the wishful thinking bias. Researchers have discovered that when there is an equal chance of a good outcome versus a bad outcome, study participants tend to believe that the good outcome will occur despite knowing that the evidence is contrary.

These biases demonstrate one of the powerful tools of mediation. Having an “unbiased” third party help to look at the outcome and evidence. A neutral mediator doesn’t or shouldn’t suffer from these biases; indeed, according to the first study, the mediator — when presented with all the facts — should have a higher likelihood of predicting the future than the parties themselves.

However, the mere fact that a mediator may be unbiased does not mean that the mediator’s views are determinative. They are merely helpful guides and perspectives that you may not otherwise see because you are too entrenched in the game or simply have a case of “wishful thinking.”

Posted in bias, future, lawyers, Mediation, optimistic, outcome, predicting, prediction, Pyschological Research and negotiations, trial, wishful thinking | Comments Off

I know Nostradamus, and You My Friend Are No Nostradamus

In every mediation, there is always some party that predicts the future. Phrases such as “There is no way that we can lose this case,” “most likely we will win,” or “the judge will never rule that way,” are frequently mentioned. The reality, however, is that people are generally very bad at telling the future The reason for this ineptitude is for several reasons.

First, according to a study in the journal of Social Pyschology, we are 30% more accurate at predicting performance for a third party than we are at predicting our own future performance. According to the research, we base predictions about others on hard facts, but brush aside our own failures or shortcomings as aberrations.

Second, Yale psychologists have discovered that when we are in the middle of a “game” we are less likely to predict the performance of the game than when we are hypothetically playing the game. In other words, if we are in the midst of a problem or activity, our impartiality is less than if we were hypothetically thinking about that same activity.

Third, Casino operators count on the next bias which is often called the wishful thinking bias. Researchers have discovered that when there is an equal chance of a good outcome versus a bad outcome, study participants tend to believe that the good outcome will occur despite knowing that the evidence is contrary.

These biases demonstrate one of the powerful tools of mediation. Having an “unbiased” third party help to look at the outcome and evidence. A neutral mediator doesn’t or shouldn’t suffer from these biases; indeed, according to the first study, the mediator — when presented with all the facts — should have a higher likelihood of predicting the future than the parties themselves.

However, the mere fact that a mediator may be unbiased does not mean that the mediator’s views are determinative. They are merely helpful guides and perspectives that you may not otherwise see because you are too entrenched in the game or simply have a case of “wishful thinking.”

Posted in bias, future, lawyers, Mediation, optimistic, outcome, predicting, prediction, Pyschological Research and negotiations, trial, wishful thinking | Comments Off

The Quitter Takes All

This year, I am celebrating my ten year anniversary as a full time mediator. I have been doing it for approximately 14 years, but it was ten years ago that I chose to eliminate all other career paths and choose this one.

Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck with my law career and mediation career together and kept both options open. According to a recent article by Pyschology Today, it is possible I may not have done either very well.

Based on a 20 year study, Timothy Judge of Notre Dame concludes that the simple ability to “confidently choose one course of action while abandoning others” may be a key trait towards success. Most people lack the mental acuity and focus to close the door on projects that may detract from their goal.

The article cites three great examples. Steve Jobs who quit college to start Apple, and then later cut 70% of Apple’s product line to pave the way for success; Howard Schultz who saved Starbucks — a nearly dead coffee house — by eliminating most of its products and focusing solely on coffee; and Henry Ford who quit family farming to build the car and who stated “Be ready to revise any system, scrap any methods, abandon any theory if the success of the job demands it.”

The reality in the context of mediation is that in my opinion there are thousands of people who want to be mediators; but there are very few that are willing to scrap it all to succeed. My advice to budding mediators, attorneys, or any other profession: Jump in with both feet, the worst that can happen is that you get wet, but maybe, just maybe, you will start to swim.


Posted in failure, Mediation, persistence, practice, quit, recipe, success | Comments Off

Negotiaflirt. A Powerful Tool In A Woman’s Negotiation Purse

A recent study from UC Berkely has discovered that women can use flirtation as a very effective negotiation technique.  This is not true, however for men.  Flirtatiousness, female friendliness, or the more diplomatic description “feminine charm” is an effective way for women to gain negotiating mileage, according to a new study by Haas School Professor Laura Kray.

Two experiments were conducted.  The first rated negotiating partners effectiveness based upon whether they used social charm or not.  The study found that women that used higher levels of social charm were considered more effective as negotiators; whereas the charm had no effect on the evaluation of the male negotiatiors.

The second study determined whether a participant would reduce the price of a $1,200 car based upon reading a story of a potential buyer as being a serious female or a socially acceptable flirtatious female.  The result? Male sellers were willing to give the “playful Sue” more than $100 off the selling price whereas they weren’t as willing to negotiate with the “serious Sue.” Playful Sue’s behavior did not affect female car sellers.

For both sexes, it is important to be able to understand that this phenomenon exists.  For women, they can use this knowledge to work on a better negotiated result.  For, men it is important to understand that this form of socially acceptable manipulation can occur and that it could be a negotiating tactic rather than this particular woman wanting to come on to you.


Posted in flirt, Mediation, negotiate, negotiation, Pyschological Research and negotiations, success, successful, tactic, woman, women | Comments Off

The National Anthem As a New Way to Open a Mediation

There is a large debate in the mediation world as to whether the parties should attend a joint session early in the mediation. This post, however, will not join that debate, but will instead posit a new beginning. We need to sing the national anthem together to start of the mediation. After all, isn’t that what we do at sporting events. We sing. Well suprisingly, there is a valid reason why singing together could be beneficial for a mediation.

According to Scott Wiltermuth of the University of Southern California, we cooperate more when we act physically in sync. In one study, students who sang “O Canada”- The Canadian National Anthem — in unison before playing an economic game were more likely to make decisions for the collective gain rather than the individual gain.

Another more sinister example of physically syncing with another person is from the Nazi goose step. According to Wiltermuth, such physical synchronicity epitomizes the impact of the potential of human synchrony. In his study, students that worked physically together to arrange cups in a synchronized sequence were more likely to accede to a confederate’s unethical suggestion.

So how can we use this in mediation without rocking out together to the Police’s “Synchronicity?” There are several ways. First, consider asking to take a walk with the party or person and then trying to match your pace and speed to the other. Second, Ask the person to help arrange something physical in the environment. Try to include the other person in an activity that involves you both moving your chairs next to each other. There may be many other ways to synchronize your activity.

This concept may also be a corollary to what Robert Cialdini explains as the concept of liking: People are more willing to cooperate with others that are similar to themselves. Obviously if you are doing the same activities, you must have some similarities.
.

Finally, it is important to empasize that such techniques are not the be all end all to communication. All actions must be taken and done with the highest level of integrity. Moreover, this concept by itself will not persuade the other side to accede automatically to your request. Remember the studies only show that people are “more likely” to do something. This does not mean they “will” do something.

Research Source: Pyschology Today, October, 2012, “In Sync”

By Steven G. Mehta


Posted in anthem, cooperation, Mediation, national, Pyschological Research and negotiations, pyschology, songs, sync, synchronize, wiltermuth | Comments Off

If they are all doing it and if it’s the new “thing” in business, why aren’t we doing it more in law?

So why aren’t we jumping all over processes like Collaborative Law in dispute resolution? Business, education, science, medicine, information technology, and other fields of endeavor have given us multiple successful models built around the principle of collaboration.

The post If they are all doing it and if it’s the new “thing” in business, why aren’t we doing it more in law? appeared first on Dispute Resolution Counsel.

Posted in Collaborative Law, Collaborative Mediation, Collaborative Processes, Dispute Resolution Resources | Comments Off

United Nations Give Guidance to Mediators

With armed conflicts trending upward and proving increasingly complex, the challenges are also mounting for mediators working to resolve them through negotiations. Guidance now available from the United Nations can help them to succeed, providing practical advice for navigating mediation processes effectively.

The UN Guidance for Effective Mediation, presented in September 2012 at a high-level event on the sidelines of the 67th United Nations General Assembly, is the first broad UN guidance of this kind available to mediators. It reflects the experience of mediators over more than six decades and was developed in close cooperation with United Nations partners including member states, regional and subregional organizations.

The Guidance is located at http://www.un.org/wcm/webdav/site/undpa/shared/undpa/pdf/UN%20Guidance%20for%20Effective%20Mediation.pdf

 

Here are just a few of the points of guidance that are also relevant to all mediations including commercial mediations.

Preparedness

Responsible and credible mediation efforts require good preparation.  Preparedness combines the individual knowledge and skills of a mediator with a cohesive team of specialists as well as the necessary political, financial and administrative support from the mediating entity 

Consent

Mediation is a voluntary process that requires the consent of the conflict parties to be effective. Without consent it is unlikely that
parties will negotiate in good faith or be committed to the mediation process.

Understand whose consent is necessary for a viable mediation process to start. If only some of the conflict parties have agreed to the mediation, the mediator may need to engage
with the consenting parties and gradually expand the consent base. Such a judgement of “sufficient consent” should be based on an analysis of the different constituencies and
an assessment of the possible impact of an initially limited mediation process, as well as the potential for excluded parties to derail the process.
Cultivate consent, in order to create the space for, and a good understanding of, mediation. Informal contacts allow parties to test the waters without committing to a fully
fledged mediation process; this can help address possible fears or insecurities

Impartiality

Impartiality is a cornerstone of mediation – if a mediation process is perceived to be biased, this can undermine meaningful progress to
resolve the conflict. A mediator should be able to run a balanced process that treats all actors fairly and should not have a material
interest in the outcome. This also requires that the mediator is able to talk with all actors relevant to resolving the conflict.

 


Posted in guidance, Mediation, mediation processes, nations, politics, un, united | Comments Off

Cell Phones Hurt Communication

Cell phones have revolutionized the way that we communicate.  Many people attorneys believe that having a cell phone has made them more efficient and productive.  But is there a cost?  Can cell phones actually hinder communication.  My answer is yes.

According to new research from Andrew Przybylski and Netta Weinstein, cell phones can actually harm the interactivity of in person communications when the cell phone is visible.  The researchers asked participants to spend 10 minutes chatting to each other about “an interesting event that occurred to you over the past month”. The participants sat in a private booth so that there were no distractions.  For half of them, close by but out of their direct line of view, a mobile phone was placed on a table-top. For the other pairs, there was a note-book in place of the phone.

The participants who had chatted with a phone nearby, as opposed to a notebook, were less likely to become friends with the other person even if they interacted a lot.  They also reported feeling less closely connected to their conversational partner.  In a second study participants were divided into four groups involving mundane topics, meaningful topics and phone or notebook.  Understandably the participants talking about meaningful topics felt closer or more intimately connected to their conversational partner.  However, this extra level of intimacy was missing for the participants for whom a mobile phone was visible.  The participants often didn’t even know that the cell phone was present suggesting that the effect was on a non-conscious level.

This research is part of the broader concept of non-conscious priming; where an object can sub-consciously affect a person’s behavior.  In addition, on an observational level, the phone implies that the person is not interested in the conversation; that they would rather be discussing something else with another person.  It can also suggest that the person in the in person conversation is not important.

This research also remains consistent with the fundamental views regarding listening.  As part of the wide literature, including my own book, it is important to actively listen to another person by removing distractions.  Listening is a sign of respect and eliminating obstacles to a clear interaction is a further sign that the person in the room is important.

The implications for mediation are very clear.  Remove obstructions, distractions, and articles that may interfere or detract from the interaction.  In addition, perhaps you might consider making the obvious gesture of letting the other person know that you are shutting off the phone putting it away.

If you don’t believe that cell phones are disruptive and potentially offensive to the person in the room, watch the next video.

Listening actively is a critical means of helping to resolve a dispute.  Don’t let the phone call or text take away from that.

Source: Andrew K. Przybylski, and Netta Weinstein (2012). Can you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships DOI: 10.1177/0265407512453827

By Steven G. Mehta


Posted in bond, cell, communication, connectionj, disrupt, disruptive, interrupt, intimacy, Mediation, phone, Pyschological Research and negotiations, research | Comments Off